Do We REALLY Need To See This???

Marge Simpson and Playboy? Hugh, say it isn't so. Surely there could have been SOMEONE you could have put on the cover besides a cartoon character? I understand it's the 20th anniversary of the Simpsons, but Playboy????? I can think of, oh, over three billion people I'd rather see on the cover of Playboy, and I've never met about, oh, all three billion of them. I'd almost rather see Carrot Top on the cover of Playboy. Well, that's going too far, but you get my point. Why a cartoon character? Ugh.

Wow Has It Been A Long Time

Wow, it has been a long time since I posted a blog. Where have I been in the last year and a half you ask? Well, not motivated for starters. But finally, FINALLY, I have something that has motivated me to post something. It's directed at Jon and Kate Gosselin, and it's very simple. I have but four words for you. In the words of Chris Jericho, would you two please just SHUT THE HELL UP! Seriously, just shut up. Kate, you are a pretentious bitch. Jon, you're a whiny pretty boy. There are EIGHT children who need you two to be PARENTS, not whiny little bitches in the media. And while I'm at it, GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY TELEVISION. I don't think people care about you two anymore. I know I don't.

Tonight is the BIGGGGGGG matchup on Monday Night Football between the Packers and Brett Favre. What? It's the Vikings and Packers? Really? Then why does it seem like the coverage is like Brett Favre is going onto the field by himself against the Packers? Has any NFL regular season game been any more overhyped than this one? I don't even think Favre will be a factor, as All Day Adrian Peterson is gonna run all over the Packers defense. Vikings 27, Packers 17.

Congratulations to Rio de Janeiro for winning the 2016 Summer Games. It's well deserved, and a long time coming. You can pencil in Brazil for the gold in soccer. No way they lose any games at home. Sucks for Chi-town, it just goes to show media buzz does not equal being the top dog. It would have been a great shot in the arm for a very battered section of the country economically.

So much for not having a pennant race in baseball. We get a one game playoff tomorrow for the Twins and Tigers. All for the right to face the Evil Empire in New York. And, if this is the last game in the Metrodome, what a way to end it.

On a personal note, if you don't have a college degree, I would highly recommend going online to the University of Phoenix. I made the mistake 13 years ago of dropping out, but I finally decided now was the time to go back to school to get my degree.

Don't Meet Me In St. Louis

In a suburb of St. Louis last night, a crazed man with a history against the city council of Kirkwood, Missouri went into a city council meeting and opened fire, killing five people and leaving the mayor, Mike Swoboda, fighting for his life. Fortunately, Kirkwood officers weren't far behind, ending this idiot's rampage by ending his life. Charles Lee Thornton's problem with the city council? He had 150 parking tickets levied against him and his business for parking illegally on the streets. It was his perception that the city was harboring a racial bias against him because he's black. He had a history of disrupting city council meetings, having been charged twice with disorderly conduct. According to one witness, this guy would heehaw like a donkey, and make derogatory comments towards the director of public works and the mayor.

Now, I'm no lawyer, civil servant, or anything like that. One thing I do know though is that making donkey noises and calling civil workers names is no way to get your opinions heard. Then again, neither is taking a gun and going on a shooting rampage. Thornton's brother compared the actions of this moron as "going to war tonight with the people that were of the government that was putting torment and strife into his life". What?!?!?! You can't take action into your own hands, and your disturbed mental state, and go shoot five members of a city council and police department. That seems obvious, I know, however the fact that his brother is defending this idiot's actions is ridiculous.

The victims of this horrific act, city council members Connie Carr and Michael Lynch, Director of Public Works Ken Yost, and police officers William Biggs and Tom Ballman should be remembered as heroes of their city, trying to defend their laws and represent the people of their city. I can only hope that the Mayor Swoboda can recover from his gunshot wounds and go back and lead his city.

The Heinosity of A Drunk Mother

Welcome to The World According To, Um, Me. You're going to see stories of the mainstream, stories of the sublime, and my reactions to this. No person is safe from my tirades. Political figures, athletes, celebrities, and as you will see below, even regular people will be targeted. You're going to see movie reviews, and anything else I could POSSIBLY have an opinion on in the world.

I saw a story on the news recently that is both sad and bizarre. A woman from St. Augustine, Florida was spotted by police under the influence of drinking and driving. When the police got to her vehicle, they found a case of beer in the front seat, buckled into the seat belt, while her one year old daughter was in the back seat, not buckled up. Yes, you read that correctly. A case of beer, buckled. A one year old child, not. Talk about one messed up drunk.

Tina Williams, the idiot drunk, should be absolutely vilified by the press, the public, her family, anyone who has access to her. I don't want to hear this "alcoholism is a disease" crap. This woman should be spending a long time in jail. No, scratch that. Jail is too good for her. There is no way this woman should have custody of her daughter, EVER. That should only be the beginning of the troubles for this woman. Here's what I would love to see happen to this insignificant woman. I would love to see her brought out into the streets, 1800s style. I would love to see the every person who lives in St. Augustine, Florida take a can of beer and pour it over her head. However, so she couldn't enjoy the taste of the beer, she should have her mouth taped shut with duct tape. Then, she should be paraded around town, taped to a chair sitting on a flatbed trailer, while people line the streets and throw seat belts at her. Is this punishment harsh and inhumane? Probably. But then again, isn't what she did to her poor one year old daughter harsh and inhumane? Absolutely. She deserves to be humiliated and treated with the same disrespect that she treated her daughter. This woman needs to learn a lesson about humility and about drunk driving.

She's been charged with driving under the influence, reckless endangerment, driving without a license, driving without a child safety seat, and running a red light. The punishments for those will be severe, however, not severe enough. The jail time she's going to serve won't do anything to stop her from doing this again. The public humiliation would certainly do the trick.